blah blah blah!

right now i am hyper ventilating! this is one of my favourite words cause it happens to me every other day! i hyperventilate when i don't get my usual glass of milk in the morning! and then its the god damned newspaper that makes me swear. especially on public holidays/ rainy days. it is my necessity for early morning uhhh you know what! so you see the whole thing is bloody well linked! i hope you didn't get that wrong- i only READ the paper. strictly the hot entertainment section. and then its those itsy bitsy things that make me run all over the place. aah but what comfort they provide (crooning away...) i never seem to have enough of them ya. :( and then begins the ritual. pulling out a million clothes from the perenially resembling a dumpyard kind of wardrobe (source of vocabulary- mom) yipppe! just when i find one i realise i have outgrown it. yet again! when will i find the perfect one?! shit im hyperventilating. what if i become obese? what if i cant eat chocolate ever again. ? what if i dont fit in through my door?
which reminds me that i am already clumsy enough. especially when im driving and lost in the bliss of my head phones. i fall into HUGE potholes and fly over those SPEED BRAKERS or is it breakers?! whatever, but now im getting paranoid! i have actually forgotten SPELLINGS?!
walking is an even bigger pain. since i could give the "quack" species a run for its originality. somehow i never seem to get my feet straight. it falls flat at 60 degrees. by the way i used to love drawing the angle in school. cause it was the easiest :) and i quack my way into class. wiping the sweat off my brow i realise the front part of my hair is beginning to get wild again. it is straight on one side of the partition and curls on the other. no amount of straightening or oiling or cutting puts it right. the scientist in me found the cause of the problem. GENES. from my dad. he has the same front one sided curl. suited him during his time at least. with that hero type fringe. now, NOW WHAT WILL I DO? what if that cute looking guy in the shop opposite finds it weird. what if i look like that 80 year old mami with excess oil in her hair. what if ..?!
suddenly realisation hits me. i have been obsessing about anything and everything since morning. just then some bitch in class has to remind me of her super kiss with her boyfriend last evening! with the extra add ons of mush and everything. which again gets me wondering! what if i never have a first kiss?! will i lose the urge! everyone i know has kissed. blame my bloody fate. just to let you know- i am not desperate and anyone trying to play smart will surely get a hot kiss. from the silencer of my bike.
and here comes the most irritating part of my day. its a nice lazy day and im dreaming away in a yacht with george clooney in hawaii(bliss) when some toxic smell makes me take a second look at clooney. whats he doing? oh its someone next to me in the desk. looks like she let go of the pressure and ripped one apart nicely. what ever does she eat?! people must be fined for farting in public. as compensation for the tremendous suffocation, discomfort and trauma caused for the beings around. and im hyperventilating now. literally. trying to give out co2 through my mouth. and there are people who make me mad, like my best friend for instance. predicts everything about my life. and it happens. but she isn't available when i desperately have to ask her something! urgently. my life would depend on her advice. my careless fate. she is busy... studying ,studying or doing some other crap work like listening to her parents who do not allow her to talk on the phone for more than five mins? the results come out. managed to pass and me- dumbstruck. you slog your ass off for this.? so much so that you couldn't talk to me for a week?! so she comes home after that to say sorry. and all that boiling suddenly stops. like if someone switched the gas off or something. and thats one thing i hate about myself.! so bad at keeping mum about my discontent. reminds me of those fizzy drinks. tastes like shit after the fizz dies.
thats my life story- part one.
oh and i also realised, i hyperventilate not every other day but every other hour of the day.