Sad Ishhtories

When i was little, like a small girl, naive and unblemished, i had visions. Carefully tuned visions and careless unsupported ones- like dreams. I do not talk of that age, when the world wasn't beyond the confines of the door, garden and the ocassional distant gate. It was when i had learnt to define, look at people and make assumptions. Those assumptions that where a hope. When just a crush meant all the excitement, when exams were paramount, when holidays went beyond grime and sweat, when cousins meant no baggage, when fights were an excuse, when ambition meant achievement, when chocolates meant taste, when "back to school' felt new and everything meant just everything.

It has probably changed. All of it. Nothing feels the same any more. Expectations bring in disappointments, luck is shortlived and life goes on. You just learn to live with it. Piling up debts that become heavier, that you can't let go and that you can't live with.

.......

unfolding in flash,
the green, small pink and red
the mind scripting
like fever, a nervous warmth
pining for an unsaid touch,
fair skin and sympathetic smiles
looking for perfection,
a compulsive disease.
arrogance and love
compelled into one
tossing in turmoil
shame, guilt , filth
filling like compensation.

fairy god mother

here i come to you, my long lost love. i cannot keep away, flaming skies, murderous people and raging winds. through it all, i come back to you! :)

Final

For any blogger, feedback is very important. Whether positive or negative. thats what, atleast the general perception is. I believe so too. But sometimes it becomes a little difficult, especially when a blog is more on personal lines, personal experiences, thoughts, feelings and expressions. At most times readers may not relate to what you're trying convey and appreciation becomes a little difficult then. And the same applies to the style of writing, the structure, the vocabulary and maybe even the theme. It all is a reflection of emotions, and that cannot be justified. It doesn't have answers to why, what, how, whatever! This whole thing is pretty much contradictory. Now i have lost the strength to write. I do not find solace in words. They are orphaned. By the world and me. Cant help it if its hard hitting philosophy. Sounds real funny to me! So to all those who have asked me how, why, what............. I just want to say... NO MORE!

I hope this post was clear, precise, technically sound and all that superficial shit that accounts for a myth labelled - "good writing"