When i was little, like a small girl, naive and unblemished, i had visions. Carefully tuned visions and careless unsupported ones- like dreams. I do not talk of that age, when the world wasn't beyond the confines of the door, garden and the ocassional distant gate. It was when i had learnt to define, look at people and make assumptions. Those assumptions that where a hope. When just a crush meant all the excitement, when exams were paramount, when holidays went beyond grime and sweat, when cousins meant no baggage, when fights were an excuse, when ambition meant achievement, when chocolates meant taste, when "back to school' felt new and everything meant just everything.
It has probably changed. All of it. Nothing feels the same any more. Expectations bring in disappointments, luck is shortlived and life goes on. You just learn to live with it. Piling up debts that become heavier, that you can't let go and that you can't live with.
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