blah blah blah!

right now i am hyper ventilating! this is one of my favourite words cause it happens to me every other day! i hyperventilate when i don't get my usual glass of milk in the morning! and then its the god damned newspaper that makes me swear. especially on public holidays/ rainy days. it is my necessity for early morning uhhh you know what! so you see the whole thing is bloody well linked! i hope you didn't get that wrong- i only READ the paper. strictly the hot entertainment section. and then its those itsy bitsy things that make me run all over the place. aah but what comfort they provide (crooning away...) i never seem to have enough of them ya. :( and then begins the ritual. pulling out a million clothes from the perenially resembling a dumpyard kind of wardrobe (source of vocabulary- mom) yipppe! just when i find one i realise i have outgrown it. yet again! when will i find the perfect one?! shit im hyperventilating. what if i become obese? what if i cant eat chocolate ever again. ? what if i dont fit in through my door?
which reminds me that i am already clumsy enough. especially when im driving and lost in the bliss of my head phones. i fall into HUGE potholes and fly over those SPEED BRAKERS or is it breakers?! whatever, but now im getting paranoid! i have actually forgotten SPELLINGS?!
walking is an even bigger pain. since i could give the "quack" species a run for its originality. somehow i never seem to get my feet straight. it falls flat at 60 degrees. by the way i used to love drawing the angle in school. cause it was the easiest :) and i quack my way into class. wiping the sweat off my brow i realise the front part of my hair is beginning to get wild again. it is straight on one side of the partition and curls on the other. no amount of straightening or oiling or cutting puts it right. the scientist in me found the cause of the problem. GENES. from my dad. he has the same front one sided curl. suited him during his time at least. with that hero type fringe. now, NOW WHAT WILL I DO? what if that cute looking guy in the shop opposite finds it weird. what if i look like that 80 year old mami with excess oil in her hair. what if ..?!
suddenly realisation hits me. i have been obsessing about anything and everything since morning. just then some bitch in class has to remind me of her super kiss with her boyfriend last evening! with the extra add ons of mush and everything. which again gets me wondering! what if i never have a first kiss?! will i lose the urge! everyone i know has kissed. blame my bloody fate. just to let you know- i am not desperate and anyone trying to play smart will surely get a hot kiss. from the silencer of my bike.
and here comes the most irritating part of my day. its a nice lazy day and im dreaming away in a yacht with george clooney in hawaii(bliss) when some toxic smell makes me take a second look at clooney. whats he doing? oh its someone next to me in the desk. looks like she let go of the pressure and ripped one apart nicely. what ever does she eat?! people must be fined for farting in public. as compensation for the tremendous suffocation, discomfort and trauma caused for the beings around. and im hyperventilating now. literally. trying to give out co2 through my mouth. and there are people who make me mad, like my best friend for instance. predicts everything about my life. and it happens. but she isn't available when i desperately have to ask her something! urgently. my life would depend on her advice. my careless fate. she is busy... studying ,studying or doing some other crap work like listening to her parents who do not allow her to talk on the phone for more than five mins? the results come out. managed to pass and me- dumbstruck. you slog your ass off for this.? so much so that you couldn't talk to me for a week?! so she comes home after that to say sorry. and all that boiling suddenly stops. like if someone switched the gas off or something. and thats one thing i hate about myself.! so bad at keeping mum about my discontent. reminds me of those fizzy drinks. tastes like shit after the fizz dies.
thats my life story- part one.
oh and i also realised, i hyperventilate not every other day but every other hour of the day.

heelllooooo!

now now people! everybody seems to be getting upset with the kind of philosophic stuff i have been writing! just for all of you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me or my life! i am a bhery bhery happpii puuhrson! the next few months shall be dedicated to the so called "funny stuff"! :P

Have you lived...

suddenly out of the blue, something struck me real bad. a desire to show everyone how bad i can hit them. how, if i want to, i can change their beliefs, their thoughts or their definitions of right and wrong. so when i read "someone's" ideologies in life, which i don't know have stemmed from where- experience or belief or assumption i want to show her what it means. to have ideologies. i hope she reads this some day and thinks of herself. thinks of how, she breathlessly limped through that phase. how she struggled in vain and just how desperate she had been. how she just wanted to erase from her mind the events that happened. how she felt cheated and completely used.

for you this my dear i want to say, you deserve it. whatever you went through. cause you showed the world you were strong. you were strong enough to love and that in itself is an answer.
you let urself get washed in the big wave. but probably you thought you could tide over it. thats where you went wrong. you went wrong cause you believed whatever you faced on one side was the same story in the other. the world is made of different stories and looking at it from your small closed world is always innocence. you couldn't stop that wave, it overpowered you. and yet you couldn't take your revenge on it. you couldn't stop it. but do you remeber the excitement of getting drenched in that single wave? do you remember that momentary feeling of glee, of happiness? do you still think about how cold you had felt after that? and how nice? that is what you need to remember dear. not anything else. that wave showed you what life was and how helpless you could be in the reality of circumstances. but now it also shows that you can forget the wave, with slight bitterness. the bitterness remains cause when the better things come you will be enlightened. do not form conclusions or ideologies. cause they are limited to just a situation. your situation and in that case you're controlled more by emotion rather than logic. so i dont agree with notions that say you loved too much or you cared too much but didn't get it enough. you did that cause you wanted to do, cause it gave you pleasure, it gave you all that happiness. so why expect the same things in return? you felt trapped cause you assumed, expected and put yourself above everything. and as for the wave, dont find fault with it. it only gave you what you wanted.

Been Here?

You know you are from Mumbai when.....
Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
You take fashion seriously.
You spend more time travelling than you sPend at home.
9:47 fast, means something to you.
u think tht delhi copied INDIA GATE frm mumbai's GATEWAY OF INDIA...

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
Amitabh Bachchans house is a landmark
When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans! You refer to the city as Mumbai and not Bombay .
You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?"
You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.
You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains...
"Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.
You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.
you can only smile forgivingly about the size of any other city in the world.
Every time you speak Hindi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face. When while giving directions you say "Right MARO aur wahan pe ek bridge GIREGA"
You have hung on to dear life at the local door.
When you think everyone who lives to the south(Mumbai) of you is a snob and to the north of you sucks
when u c movie names like "shootout at Lokhandwala" & 'Ek chalis ki last local" & don't have to ask what the name means
you consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.
when "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word
Everything to the north of Mumbai is UP-Bihar and everything below is Madras
if someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...
when you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay
It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.
Being truly alone makes you nervous.
Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily-together!.
You have learnt how to stand in a queue
u treat mumbai as a country itself
when you actually see random people coming to help you when u have a problem
u want to get into the train already that is already in motion & u have 5 hands taking u in..
You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Mumbai
When you allow complete strangers to spend the night in your house because its raining outside and half the city is submerged...

p.s- this is not my work. just something from somewhere that made me read it some hundred times.