she had been waiting..... for long enough now. another day, another week or even a month didnt make a difference. she could still wait. clutching to the torn rags of fate. perhaps she was at its mercy. and to her it was the only truth.
she felt it that fateful first day when it had been just a far off glance. 2 years closed, she felt the very same. that emotion that couldn't be explained.
sometimes she dismissed it a fascination, sometimes it felt godly. at other times it was sheer anger, and then pity.
EMOTIONS afterall...... are never stable. time loses its battle against them. and so does trust.

in this two sided battle that swayed favourtism she had been unable to stick to a thought. the highs were always submerged in the consequent lows. each time the happiness that took its infant steps was killed by its enemy. falling and learning to walk again.

she is waiting..............

state of mind........

crucification! murder! phlegm! melancholy.
failure can turn the sanguine to permanent retirement.
and the world's biggest anthems are composed.
in retrospect, life is a comedy of errors.
past always is viewed in humor.

its over..........

I can't believe...
Its over.

Fifteen long years....
The same gates,
the same rooms ,
the same smell of sand.
Now seems stranger.....
maybe its over.

The smile that lit up every morning,
the bell that rang every afternoon,
the shouts that filled every wall,
the laughter that echoed through spaces,
now seems still.........
I guess its over.

I wasted it,
i was accused, troubled, complained
i was too preoccupied,
I didn't experience it,
i have lost it.
its over.

i want to go back.
live the way i want to,
feel the excitement,
find love,
run around the long stairs,
laugh my heart out,
practise late evenings,
be dropped home with care,
win popularity,
hear my name being screamed,
see my name on the blue walls,
have little kids idolise me,
carry the lingering memory of a first kiss........

I can't...
cause its over.

.......... not mine!

I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause
I won't say goodbye anymore

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause
I won't say goodbye anymore
I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on her hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do.

Do not read, danger of insanity looms high.

Actually this piece would be ideal as a poem but it would be very stereotyped when expressed in the lang of poetry. Just trying to attempt in prose!

These thoughts are aimless for they find no admirer. Yet each time they grow filling in themselves the depth of hope. Perhaps they are worthless to the blind eye, only truth to one's own.

The akwardness sometimes sets in fear. Of a loss maybe irreplacable. And the happier things are just crucified in the soul of suspicion.

The question of integrity arises from such bravery. To be able to accept fate. Desperation is a mere act of weakness. For when you love you'd let go.

I pity silly accusations and revengeful longings. The wickedness of every human mind is evident at check point.

If you had trust, it wouldnt last. The very nature of the homo sapiens on this is earth is so. Each is selfish to his own desires, wants and loves.

Somehow i hope that is untrue. Just for this period of time. Give me this life to believe that my beliefs are found, my hopes are blessed.

This Love....

it has taken its revenge on me
this love.....
that i had so carefully nourished
it has showed me the path of defeat.

just a small pretty thing
i had cared for
is it the epitome of difficulty, this love?
that it has shown me the door

perhaps im a wanderer
in search of belief, a life
there is dust everywhere
there is green everywhere
of a faith that is shattered.

im not a romanticist
yet my realities are deceptive
for each minute of a dream
for every second of hope
fall like sand from a closed fist.

hey guys!
read my review of chetan bhagat's latest on this link http://www.oxfordbookstore.com/oxfordonline/asppages/item_final.asp?strSKU=BE21534&strSKUSrl=1
hope u like it!